Posted on Feb 15, 2014
I have begun the immense project of digitizing my family tree using a computer program I utilize in my counselling practice. As I have transferred information from paper copies, stories have emerged. It is fascinating what surfaces when I move beyond entering names and dates to realizing how old people were when they married, relocated, and experienced significant life events including death.
For example, I discovered an ancestor that was 16 years of age when she married for the first time! And I tried to imagine what it would have been like to board a steamship with eight children in tow, or how horrific it would have been to have a child die at sea, or the pain of permanent separation due to geography, or uprooting as a community and moving from one country to another—wherever the current government allotted the group sufficient space until circumstances would push them on again.
The most intriguing story, however, ties in well with the month of February and especially Valentine’s and Family Day. A story that makes me wonder what it was like to be in love in 1879. In Russia. It is difficult to envision life without electricity, indoor plumbing, even toilet paper and toiletries. I wonder if I would have had any suitors if I could not improve my appearance with modern hygiene practices and the advantages of make-up to present my best self. What drew people to each other in rural Russia in 1879? Are there laws of attraction beyond how we smell and look? Good hygiene and grooming is such a significant part of being attractive these days. Are there ‘base lines’ to being an attractive mate that incorporate our flaws rather than our efforts to disguise our natural smells and blemishes?
Gives new meaning to the term: raw beauty. I don’t think I’ve ever considered my own raw beauty before—or if it even exists! Our culture puts so much emphasis on how we make ourselves presentable rather than what makes us attractive behind the ‘smoke and mirrors.’ Is it possible to be attracted to someone based solely on personality? What about the plausibility of true natural chemistry or finding someone physically appealing ‘as is’?
Now back to the story from 1879 that I was reminded of as I entered data into my laptop. In keeping with most North Americans, I have a family background that follows a trail back to the ‘Old Country.’ My family history can be traced from the Netherlands, to Prussia (now Germany), on to southern Russia (now Ukraine), and then US and/or Canada.
In June of 1879, a portion of one of my ancestral families boarded the SS Switzerland headed for Philadelphia. I do not know which European port the ship left from, but my ancestors had to take an emigration train to get there. My great, great grandfather Jacob was on that train with his parents, 3 sisters, 2 brothers-in-law, and 9 nieces and nephews. He was 21; the youngest sibling and only surviving son (his older brother Johan had died at age 7 in 1858—the same year Jacob was born). His 23-year-old sister was the only other one without family of her own. The fourth oldest daughter had emigrated with her young family of 8 children the year before. Four sibling families remained behind in Russia.
As the story goes, my ancestral grandpa Jacob got off the train at the last minute—for love. He married his sweetheart, Anna, on October 25th of that same year. They are scandalously holding hands in their very serious wedding photo. They had 8 children—3 of whom came to Canada in 1925 and 1926. My grandmother arrived in Canada with her parents in 1926. She was 5 years old.
If I could time travel, I think I would endeavor to meet my great, great grandparents, Jacob & Anna: those radical Russian Mennonite sweethearts of 1879. To find out their secrets to a passionate and enduring love that could prompt a 21-year-old male to abandon half his family—headed for an adventurous, fresh start in a new world—to choose a hard life of farming with the woman he loved.
And I’m curious what sort of raw beauty great, great grandmother Anna had.
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Posted on Jan 15, 2014
So how is everyone’s New Year starting off? Recuperating from all the festivities that mark the transition from one year to another? As I write this, I am still in anticipation of what is yet to come—which got me thinking about what it all means.
Did your Christmas/Holiday/Winter Solstice Season get run over by Santa and his reindeer? Or trampled by the Magi en route to visit the baby Jesus?
Sometimes it can feel that this holiday season is rather redundant. Where is the significance of the symbols, stories, and traditions? Does this time of year truly mean anything to us? Or is it just repetition—what we do this time of year, year after year?
Not to be a Scrooge or exclaim, “Bah, humbug!” at the site of a Christmas tree. Rather the inverse. I love this time of year. The decorations, the music, the food, the generosity of spirit, the well wishes. It is indeed a bright spot in the dead of wintry whites and grays. For many it is also a time for family which might be neglected throughout the rest of the year, a time of giving, sharing, helping, remembering, rejoicing. For those with religious beliefs, it is also a time of storytelling and celebration. I am not as familiar as I would like to be with the various religious traditions that happen this time of year; but it is significant that nearly every belief system has some sort of festivity in November/December. And with the rise of the Global Village, many new stories, symbols, songs, and significant events are evolving out of the blending of cultures.
This came alive for me by reading another article in the November/December 2013 issue of Spirituality & Health magazine entitled, “Dancing in the Light” by Rivvy Neshama in which she describes “a pilgrimage to the Taos Pueblo for a traditional ceremony [that gives her] a new understanding of Christmas.” Even the ‘traditional’ ceremony described was a blend of native and Catholic themes.
And huddled together around an immense bonfire, the author heard different expressions of the experience: “It’s about the sun returning…It gives us light for the new year.” In her words, “It’s Christmas, it’s native, it’s solstice, it’s magic.”
In my words: Beautiful! What an amazing ceremony to express what this season is all about in its many manifestations! It is a time to celebrate the return of the sun. The shortest day of the year is behind us; and the days will only get longer until the summer solstice. There will be light to guide us into the new year. If we are so inclined, spiritual significance can be superimposed upon the meaning of sun and light in reference to the Christ child (Son and Light). In other religious systems, I’m certain those words can have double meanings as well.
The word that pops into my head: Renewal. The shift in the sun signifies renewal in that it is now time for the earth and its inhabitants to prepare or rest for spring (forthcoming time of rejuvenation and growth). The earth (and people) cannot continue to produce without a season of renewal and rest (in this case, resting is more active than passive). We are not bottomless resources—as much as we may treat our planet and other people as such.
In Christian tradition, the spiritual significance of this season is also renewal (aka redemption). The birth of Christ marks a shift in how God and people relate. Christmas is a time to refresh our relationship with God. In broader terms, regardless of religious affiliation, it is a time to reflect and revisit how we see ourselves as part of the grand scheme of things and how we relate to the Transcendent Other.
As 2014 opens before us, may you experience Light from within and without to renew you for what lies ahead in the new year.
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Posted on Dec 15, 2013
Once again I am faced with the middle of December and feeling overwhelmed. How does this happen every year? So I am going to cheat with this month’s blog entry and share a poem I read in a magazine, the November/December 2013 issue of Spirituality & Health, that struck a chord with me.
“When the song of the angels is stilled,
When the star in the sky is gone,
When the kings and princes are home,
When the shepherds are back with their flock,
The work of Christmas begins:
To find the lost,
To heal the broken,
To feed the hungry,
To release the prisoner,
To rebuild the nations,
To bring peace among others,
To make music in the heart.”
~ Howard Thurman
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