June 2019: Paternity

Posted on Jun 17, 2019

So. Where to begin? It’s been an interesting week; and I’ve been mulling over this blog for a couple weeks now, without gaining any solid traction. There are a few things I want to say; but I’m unsure how to piece it all together or put it into words. Funny how thoughts can be like that: flashes of inspiration or insight keeping just out of word’s grasp.

My musings began by thinking about the tight integration between how we are parented and how we relate to the Ultimate Transcendent Being (Creator, God, Universe, High Power, Author of the Cosmos, Big Bang, insert your preferred label here…).

Even with years of therapy, a long and winding faith journey, and deep self-recovery work, I still struggle relating to the Transcendent Being via any masculine reference, whether it be Canadian Aboriginal’s Father Sky or the westernized Father God. I continue to mentally back away from that imagery.

And then it struck me that God doesn’t care what name is used, God is simply thrilled to be on speaking terms with any human: whether we refer to the Ultimate Presence as our Rock, Fortress, Shield, Mama Bear, Mama Eagle, Mother God, Mother Earth, or any imagery that helps us connect. God isn’t bothered by any of it…but humans are.

My sister recommended a documentary series exploring the development of Christian Art within its context of history, political movements, and culture. That’s the sort of information that should be doled out—not doctrine or dogma. Very enlightening series based in the supposed Dark Ages. I can’t share all the gems here, but it was very informative. The key “take-away”: humans have always been drawn to a fluid understanding of the Ultimate Being, needing both female and male representation.

As intriguing as the historical perspective is, it is also terribly disheartening to have a bird’s eye view of how political figures have influenced the evolution of religion—so much so that it hardly resembles the simple origins.

From politics to parenting, our perceptions of the Ultimate Being are just that—perceptions, maybe even allusions. Sometimes, I daresay, delusions. Subconsciously, God becomes a demanding authority figure, a fairy godmother, a magical old wizard, a powerful force to be reckoned with—but we don’t actually visualize those images. We dress them in more culturally acceptable costumes. So our experiences with God become extremely frustrating when our wishes (aka prayers) aren’t granted, political forces aren’t abolished. Our demands are not met, we pout, and God yearns to connect and comfort.

And therein lies my problem. When using male language, I do not relate to God in any positive ways. In fact, I withdraw. So I approach from another safer angle, and am met with connection, comfort, instruction, guidance. God doesn’t care. God will morph to be my safe place. Maybe I should start referring to my Higher Power as the Shape Shifter (with only pure motives).

Here is my tie in for all these musings. Never take parenting for granted. It is so important with long-term implications. Not only for how we relate to the Ultimate Being, but also others and most importantly our Selves. If we do not reflect back to children what we see in them, and if they cannot see themselves in adults, they grow up to be very confused and rudderless. They expect the world to function a certain way. And when it doesn’t co-operate, they don’t have the skills to navigate difficulties nor to spread kindness and well-being wherever they go.

Oddly enough, I learned that Christian Art reflects humanity more than any divinity…and that my sensitive soul seems out of place in this world. I really do feel like an alien on this planet when kindness is rewarded with meanness. I’m tired of being a human punching bag. Which is another way of saying the Universe is guiding me to make some changes.

The Dark Ages: An Age Of Light Four Part Series –  Timeline – World History Documentaries https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4o1dc41r28